Local Centrist Dem Activist Group Celebrates First Heterosexual Female Mayor of Anchorage

"We're so proud of this moment but saddened by how long it took. We have much work to do!!" said Margie Adams from behind the pink lectern at Middle Way Cafe on Tuesday. The local chapter of Traditional Democrat Women was holding a luncheon to celebrate Suzanne LaFrance's historic achievement as the first elected, heterosexual woman to be Mayor of Alaska's largest village.

"We're very proud of her", said local member Sherry Stanton. "She understands what a trailblazer she is to young women everywhere as the fir...um, well, you know what I mean".

LaFrance won a May runoff election by a slim margin of just over 7% which wasn't quite slim enough for some supporters to crown her "Landslide LaFrance".

In her speech, LaFrance said she was already tired of the volume of emails, phone calls and texts she had been receiving but was busy hiring assistants and purchasing multiple phones. "I even hired some folks overseas so that if a text comes through at 2am, it looks like I'm responding". The crowd erupted in applause.

Back in the kitchen, we asked the local staff what their thoughts were surrounding the election. Their response was timeless: "Election? What election?"