Legislature Unanimously Passes Bill To Send All Alaskan Males A Pair of Jungle Mocs at 46 1/2 Years Old

In a rare case of bipartisanship, the Alaska legislature passed a bill this week that will send one free pair of shoes to every eligible Alaskan male in October along with their PFD check.

"We couldn't be more pleased," said Madame Speaker Cathy Tilton. "You sign up for the PFD, you get registered to vote, you get your pair of Jungle Mocs. It's the most Alaskan thing we could all imagine," she concluded.

The shoes would end up costing the state approximately $48,310,500 per year which would come directly from the principal of the Permanent Fund.

Sen. Forrest Dunbar, who represents a district in East Anchorage, begrudgingly voted in favor of the bill but wasn't happy about it. "Some people have 3, 4, 7 pairs of these things. They last forever and come in various color schemes and textures. I just think that money could have gone to legalizing cocaine or some other project that would reach more people instead of just adult men," he snarled in his signature demonic style.

Rep. David Eastman from Wasilla refused to grant an interview but sent us a text that read: "I won't be getting a pair (of shoes). I refuse the PFD every year that it isn't derived from the FULL STATUTORY FORMULA AND I WONT UNTIL IT ISS (sic)"

Back in South Central, we received positive feedback from the people we spoke with.

"Honestly I think it's about time the state started doing something for us," replied Wasilla resident Brad Ander. "I have like 3, 4, 7 pairs of these things and I love all of them!"

Dempsey Quickster of Homer was also elated. "I've always wanted to try those things but I just wasn't sure I could pull them off. Now, I get sort of a free trial run."

Residents can expect them in the mail towards the end of October. They will be arriving in a plain, brown box with no identifiers about what's inside.