Beaming Assembly Gives Mayor LaFrance "Golden Shovel of Competence" Award After Winter with No Snow

"Well, we realllllllllllly dodged a bullet this year!" Mayor LaFrance said as she struggled to pick up the solid gold shovel weighing in at 74 pounds. "I want to thank my wonderful staff for their competency in handling this winter's challenges. The only people that you saw walking in the street this winter was because they're mentally ill and not because the sidewalks weren't plowed," she said.

After two back-to-back winters with near record snow falls, this winter is slated to clock in at one of the lowest snow years on record. Both situations are of course caused by man-made climate change which has been repeatedly proven by science and data.

In fall of last year, after campaigning on "plowing", LaFrance admitted that nothing was getting plowed due to mistakes made while she was on the assembly and told teary eyed fans that they'd better "Buy a used Hummer H2" if they wanted to get to work on time. When the mayor was accused of being tone deaf she replied, "Okay well what about one of those 80's church vans?"

Last year, the administration approved spending $933 billion dollars on new snowplows that are expected to be delivered by Spring 2039.