Alaska Dating Scene So Bad, Singles To Soon Start Meeting At Koots Again

A recent Puffin Post survey shows that 88% of Alaska singles have sworn off dating apps for good and plan to go back to meeting people in person. Top 5 reasons given are as follows:

• Same exact people on all of the apps

• Nothing but toxic ex's

• Mistrust of app creators

• Catfished too often

• Can't handle another first date at Black Cup or the dog park

Chloe Erk said she'd been on all of them at one point or another and started back in 2012 on Plenty Of Fish. "I've done 'em all," she said. "POF, Tinder, J Date (she's Presbyterian), OkCubid, Mingle, Mingle2, Christian Mingle (she's Presbyterian), Badoo, Match, E-Harmony, Raya (although she didn't get accepted), Bumble and even Hinge. It just seemed like as soon as I was tired of seeing the same 17 people pop up on one and went to join another, everyone else did the same thing!"

We also spoke with Helen Rigby who said she had been on OurTime and SilverSingles off and on for the past 8 years with no luck. "I would get catfished all the time! These guys would claim they were 67 and when I'd show up to Black Cup to meet them, they'd be at least 71 and I just got exhausted with it."

All of this bad press will likely seem like a boon for local bars as they expect an influx of customers this fall and winter. Darwin's Theory, a popular tavern in downtown Anchorage, is even planning to install a single tap for draft Coors Light.

The management at Chilkoot Charlie's said they hadn't seen an uptick in customers yet but attributed that to the bad lighting. "The average utility bill for a building of this size should be $5,000 per month," said Alex Richmeister. "Ours is never over $175. All of the employee's here constantly have bruises from walking into things throughout the shift."

We reached out to Match Group which owns a portfolio of some of the most popular dating apps and here is their emailed response:

"We are concerned with our bottom line and how our customers have figured out that the algorithms are a total scam. Our new strategy is to develop at least another 100 apps that are hyper specific to individual's tastes and interests. For example, one that we have developed for the Alaska market and will have ready to launch by Spring 2025 is going to be called BasiC where our target customers are people that like to present themselves as being outdoorsy and interesting but are actually quite boring, use the term "furbaby", drink coffee all day and complain about not being able to sleep at night and are only interested in partners that are way out of their league. We also have a picture filter requirement so no one will look better in real life. We think it will be a big success!"

One thing is for certain, as Winter approaches, expect to see more lonely singles out downtown trying to find their perfect match.